Real Confessions of a TIRED Mom

I am soo exhausted! I swear I walked about 30 miles this week. . . well it feeeeeeeels like it!! I am totally wiped. . .

Wed of course was halloween & we took the kids out. We took them around their school & then to Rhinebeck. They ToT about 3 & 1/2 hrs. We went through the haunted firehouse in Rhinebeck.

Thurs I did some errands with my mother. She is going for a surgery consult in Dec. So I will prob be caring for her for awhile when she has the surgery.

Fri am (this am!) I spent an hour & 1.2 in "K"! lol We went to Rayna's class this am to share Chuckie with them. Then, we visited the other 2 "K" classes too! So, I got 4 "educational programs" in this week. Rayna's teacher would like me to come back again next Fri with my snake! LOL!!

Then, I took Jaymz home (he went with me after working all night & getting a tidbit of sleep - to the school to take pics for me) and I had to go to Kingston to do my errands & shopping. (Also went over to mom's quick & we took a walk - we have been trying to do this several times a week) . .. (So I am up to @ 7mi!)

I forgot Jesse's dance was tonite - so talking to Jaymz around 4:30, he was like did you forget @ Jesse's dance? And I was like ah shit! I did! Ugh!! SO I had to rush more. . .

I got home just after 5. We left for the high school about 10 to 6.
The dances were all good again this year! They are performed by the 3rd gr classes of the district. Last time we went was when the girls did their 3rd dances in 2005?? Rayna said she is NOT doing that. . . although, she was dancing along in the bleachers!! LOL

Hmm. . . Here we have a parenting program . .. Maybe through the high school? I hear it is 8th graders, but that is middle school. Anyways, the girls get a "life like doll" . . .interesting. . . the baby care packages are these. . . I only know because the things the girls' have matches these things . . . .I though maybe 8th grade is a bit young. . .but then looking at the of 8th graders that have had babies in the last 10 yrs . . (+++) maybe it's not!! My kids would love playing with these babies! LOL Of course, the older girls aren't "playing" but having a "learning" experience. .but still . .

Ok I am getting delirious from lack of sleep so I must go. . more soon!! - I actually have a pretty interesting blog post in the works. .. well *I* think it is extrememly interesting. .. It's probably going to take a few days for me to get it finished. . . Also have several photos I want to get shared. . . HOPEFULLY this week. . . . . . . Till next time!!

So I been thinking . . . A beginning to a story maybe. . . Or maybe this is how it SHOULD be. . .

I actually started this about a year ago & never got around to posting it out. . . I just had it saved as a draft. . . so here is the beginnings. . . and I will probably add more. . .


ok . . . So I been doing a lot of thinking . . . Ok so it's not THAT uncommon, but I don't blog about what I think about personally too much . . ok well sometimes, I do, but usually it's un relation to some once else - like the kids. . . or something specific that irkes me. .





Ok, I am rambling, I'm sorry. So here goes. . .


Driving today past some fields (where corn grew earlier this year), I was thinking about how life sux a lot, things are getting so insanely ridiculously priced. . . soon people will not be able to buy things they NEED let alone WANT to have. . .


So, I was making up this little story.


Ms Bettie lived in a "small country town" named Best. Ms Bettie had a big farm that her & her husband worked with their family over the years of their marriage. Her husband passed away a few years ago & Ms Bettie's family tried to get her to sell the home & property. They told her it was too much for her now that dad was gone.


Ms Bettie thought about what her children (all grown children) had discussed with her. After a few days, Ms Bettie had her children come see her again, to talk to them about her decision. She told her children that she was not going to sell their family home.


"What did you say mama?" One of her sons asked.


"Matthew, your father & I, and many of our friends, worked hard on building this home. Your father & I, and again, many of our friends helped make this farm what it is today. Much hard work went to this farm, but also love. In return, much love has come from this farm. Things are getting to hard for families & I am going to make a change in our community." Ms Bettie told her children.


"Mama, you are an elderly woman. You will not be able to make a difference on your own." he daughter, Jane told her.


"On my own, maybe not. But on my own, I can make a valuable contribution to my community, which can help bring about a change people depsperately need these days." Ms Bettie told them.


The children were confused and doubtful of what their mother would be able to do at her age. They were also concerned for her safety. They feared she may fall & hurt herself, or something else!


Well, for a couple years now, Ms. Bettie had been growing corn. What she didn't realize is that she was already helping some. But, this help would turn into a much larger thing as she would soon start to realize.


Ms Bettie's close friend and neighbor, Martha & her family got corn from Ms Bettie every year. Ms Bettie did not charge them a thing. Ms Bettie had been doing this a long time & she did a great job. She also grew a few other vegetables & fruits in her large garden behind her home. Even after canning and freezing for winter, she always had some to share. The only thing that had gotten harder for her was the work of doing more herself since her husband had passed away. Her children came & helped when they could. No one thought about it much, but there were several neighbors that also came by & helped Ms Bettie whenever they could. Although many people could only spare a bit of time each day, it was that help she needed & got them through the times that was a lot of hard labor - such as harvesting time.


Martha & her husband were younger than Ms Bettie. Martha & John raised cattle. It was a "large scale" operation, but enough for them, their childrens' families, many friends, and even several to sell for other things they may need. They always made sure Ms Bettie got what she needed for the year at slaughter time. They were able to do such generous things because Ms Bettie had provided them with feed corn.


Another neighbor was Sue-Sue, as many of the children called her. She was a mid-life woman who lived with her sister. Sue-Sue had never gotten married, but loved the neighborhood children. She was like an aunt to the whole neighborhood of children. She even had a yard full of toys for when they came over to play. She had babysat most of them, and being a fabulous midwife, had even delivered a good deal of them! Sue & her sister were fabulous seamstresses. Sewing, quilting, needlework, and other hand crafts had been passed down through their family from back in the day, generations ago. Sue & her sister often provided sewing services for anyone in the community that needed them. They often did this for free, or for very low, modest fees. They never charged anyone they knew was too poor to pay, even if they tried. They always watched for bargains, or materials they could use in their sewing, such as wool someone was keeping for a sheep, or various other sewing supplies. They made fabulous quilts. They often made about 8 a year, between them, and sometimes more, or less, depending how the year went, and how supplies were. They always made one for new babies that were born, or if the one they had made an older child was wearing out. They often implemented the worn out quilt pieces into the new somehow. They would also use bits of the child's outgrown clothing, and things like that. Whatever they used, everyone always loved their quilts and they always kept everyone warm. The extra quilts the sisters made during the year went for sale at the quilt show, and often made them enough (or more than enough) to get supplies they needed for home, or sewing. Somehow, they always managed with what they had. . . and manaed to get by well enough they weren't in need. Sue & her sister also got meat from Martha & her husband. The sisters returned the favor by helping deliver calves, feeding, and of course, sewing. They had also helped with the children, various babysitting adventures, or delivering a child. They had delivered 4 of Martha's children. The sisters also got corn from Ms Bettie. They made or used it for various things, like other people int he community. They dropped in and visited with Ms Bettie - often sewing at her home while visiting her to keep her company while she was canning or cooking something. They also helped with this things, too, so they could have canned or cooked items to share with the community. They helped her at harvest time if needed, or planting, or whatever she did need. Sometimes, it was just a visit & tea.


Bob & Jeannie was another couple in Best. Bob & Jennie raised chickens, ducks, geese & turkeys. They loved their birds, but most of the raised birds were for eating. They did have some that were pets, and they roamed all over, making visits here & there to people in the neighborhood. The kids loved it. Bob & Jeannie raised more than enough birds for their whole community. They often had plenty to sell to neighboring towns and they always got praises for their labor of love with their birds. Often times, they would get calls mid-year, to put in orders for slaughter time. They often had a good idea of who would be wanting what in the following year. Bob & Jeannie also got corn from Ms Bettie. They got meat from Marhta & her husband. And of course, Sue & her sister helped with children and sewing ventures. Bob & Jeannie had 7 boys. Many of these boys helpd all over the community. All of them had been working their own property "since birth", as they say. As they got older & learned more things, the boys helped their parents when they went to other peoples' homes to give a hand - like to Ms Bettie's to help with the corn. After awhile, the boys, one by one, got old enough that they didn't need to be supervised by their parents when they went to help. So, it helped even more because the boys could go around & do jobs that needed down for neighbors, without having the need of a watchful eye of their parents. Their parents then were able to get even more done at home.


And while this is so rare in almost all other communities in the world, this was the "norm" for the children in their town. Boys did a lot of hard labor - field work, garbage details, slaughter time, etc. The girls had other chores. They helped the sisters whenever needed with sewing chores that they may need, or trips to town to get the needed items for families. The girls also helped with laundry - for their home or others, if needed, watching & caring for smaller children, cooking and canning activities, and cleaning homes. So, it was not a worry if you did not have a son - or a daughter, because soon, someone's child would be around to see if you needed help that day.


Joanna & Mel had an unusual area. They had moved to Best about 40 years ago because they were tired of the big city life. They had bought a large plot of land, and they worked to build their home. Over the next 20 or so years, Mel & Joanna had decided they wanted to no longer pay their money to the electric companies to supple the energy for their homes. They worked a way they could use the solar panels purchased at the store, to harvest the solar energy. They set up this service for the town. What happened was that they figured out rough ideas of everyone's needs, and allowed for a certain growth rate - if some new families came in. The town worked together to be sure they could get the solar panels & supplies needed & all worked together to set this up. They then made sure everyone was switched over to the solar system of energy, and off the electrical energy that cost them so much. This saved some families saved $1500 or more a year by doing this. For others, it was even more, due to the various activities at the home. It took many years, and even a few trials to get this done for the community. But, working together, they got it all worked out and going, in about 6 years. Mel & Joanna did not have children, because things were so hard in the world. They didn't know what the world would be like when their children were adults, or if the children would even be able to work & earn enought o care for themselves. After the solar system of energy was set up, and running well, there was minimal maintenace that needed to be done, that they took care of, so they also went around and helped in the community where they were needed. They also cared for children, and were like "grandparents" in their community.


What Ms Bettie & her children did not realize, was that she had already made a tremendous difference in her community. She did not think of it because it was the way her life was. . .It was what she knew & the "norm" for them. . . She didn't think of this, except for times she had to go to another town. Then she was so happy & greatful for her home & community. She knew she had such a rare & wonderful thing.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Graphics for Halloween Comments

Talking

Something that comes so "easily" to many of us . . . I don't really like talking in FRONT of people & I never have. . . giving speeches in class this past spring nearly killed me!! I thought I would DIE everytime I had to do it. . .Although, I knew that was a common feeling among many people that HAD to speak in front of a group.

Until recently, I never really thought that my FIVE year old could already be experiencing this kind of phobia! This past fall (2006), at 4 yrs old, Rayna was diagnosed as being "Selectively Mute" (selective mutism). Although, there hasn't been many "tests" to rule out other things compltely, the "symptoms" match well.

Rayna started daycare in the Fall of 2004 . . . (when I began college), and went through Spring 2007 - well a month - if that of the spring semester (2007). In that 2 & 1/2 yrs, Rayna did NOT speak a WORD to anyone inside the daycare - no staff, no children, no one. . .

After a semester of this, I began asking people if they this was "unusual". . . no one seemed to know anything about it & thought she was "just shy" and would come around. Rayna had terrible seperation anxiety - she cried so hard & held on to me so tight - I had to PRY off her little fingers & hand her to one of the teachers & zoom away. I felt so terrible. I never let her see it, but I cried a few times - especially in the beginning, because it just broke my heart.

How can this little face be so worried about talking to friends, her teacher, others? I never really thought about a child having such a fear like that!! But, now thinking about it & not know exactly what I should do - is even worse! How do I get through to her its OK to talk to people, to make friends, to have fun at school & it's ok to like it?? :(

(She had her hair in braids & we took them out this am, LOL) And here's the back of her hair. She's so funny! She still tells me she doesn't want any friends. . . How does a 5yr not want friends?? All 5 yr olds I know want friends! :( Not only that, at home she never shuts up, she is even a bit of a bully at times!!

Her teacher told me that she is a fantastic, bright, creative child. She says she loves her artwork, it's very creative and good. . Maybe because she doesn't verbally express in "public"?

I have to speak with my friend Jill - she is probably sure to have some ideas/thoughts on this. She's really good like that. . .

I will be having a meeting with her teacher, and the school counselor. I printed a bunch of stuff I had found on SM & saved for her teacher. I really hoped Rayna would come around by now. . . How can she have not said a WORD in "school" in THREE yrs???

And another thing, I had her evaluated at a school Fall 2006 (they diagnose "behind children" and learning disabilities and all that - whatever the correct terminology is. . .and even though not SPEAKING to people IS a "delay" of a sort (my analogy - not one stated by them!) = they "could not offer any help because Rayna is not delayed, or behind!!

Don't get the wrong impression, I am NOT looking for a label, etc. . . I just want to help her feel safe & ok at school. I want her to be able to relax & talk & play with her friends. I don't want her to be crazy afraid of speaking to everyone forever!! It took her awhile, but she did start talking to my friend Jen - after a few months - but I spent a lot of time with Jen - we studied together at school & got together at home, we went to her house a lot, ETC. So Rayna was seeing a LOT of her - she finally broke when she started talking to Jen about Jake - her dog! LOL Animals always get her!:) - Yet, haven't gotten her to talk at school . . .

So. . . Well, I don't know what to do with my baby girl! I mean. . I don't "DO" much - I encourage her to talk to people when they talk to her . . . I try to get her to play with other kids. . She is soooo sensitive. . .

Oh. . . and here is a funny pic I had to share. . . We moved the iguana to a smaller cage for winter & into the bathroom, where it is warmer & higher humidity - anyway - Rayna was sitting on the floor by his cage - in those green clothes & he came over & tried to eat her pants!! hehehehe!!! It was really cute! He didn't hurt himself or anything - he discovered quickly he couldn't get to her pants, let alone eat them - so he want back to his perch - and we got him more Kale! LOL